I am on a quest for answers, help, suggestions, whatever could help.
Let me start with an explaination. We have a little girl {who will remain nameless}, and she is very VERY strong-headed. She doesnt take direction well, which also means that she doesnt listen to her parents very well.
Please dont think that we are picking out negative things about her. We love her! She is an artistic, creative, smart little girl. We see all the good qualities that she has. As parents we understand that this will and drive can be a great force of good in her life when she gets older, but for right now it leads to disobedience. On most occasions, when she is asked to do something, or we give her directions, it is met with why that wont work, what she is doing instead, or why she wont do it. ~ Which is why we say she is so smart. She thinks about things and want to try things her way.
But this has sent me on a quest to figure out where the real problem lies; what can we address as parents to help her be obedient without feeling like she needs to complain or talk back. One thing that I have noticed is a lack of time managment. It takes way too much time for her to complete most tasks ~ which leads to frustrated parents. Does anyone out there have a good theory on teaching time management to kids?
Just so you know - timers dont work. She hates the stress of competing with it.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Quest
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7 comments:
I'll call you! I have a lot of experience in this area!
Em,
Brigg is the same with time management... he has none. Finally, he asked for sticky notes and a pen. He spent about an hour in his room writing himself reminder notes and posting them all over the room and our house. Notes like: Don't waste time, focus, pick up socks, take allergy medicine, etc. It's actually helped him and I've had to just leave the notes up because I'm happier when he gets things done. I know this doesn't address all your concerns, but this little piece has helped us.
For whining and talking back we use "1-2-3 Magic." Love and Logic has some suggestions for kids who struggle with staying on task. Those are our two favorite parenting resources.
I have this little boy...who is worse than your little girl:)
A friend reccomended listening to a CD from the library...cause I can't get through a book, so I listened to it while doing dishes, folding laundry etc. I was at my witts end with Cade's mouth! With his NEVER do anything I ask! SO tired of trying to calmly explain, and explain, and explain...until it was no longer calm. We have implemented a new program at our house. Simple, yet effective. A friend who carpools him to preschool and also switches of with me babysitting, who knows Cade's attitude very well asked me the other day, "what is this new thing your doing because he is a totally different Cade!" I could have cried! I probably did tear up. Anywho, I've only been doing it a few weeks but I am loving it so far. The "book" is old school, but good. I laughed out loud listening to it and also cried (I will probably even blog about it soon)It is called "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas W. Phelan, PH.D. I'm sure there are many more helpful books out there on CD. I've got a few more reserved in my library que. Just an idea.
ok, I didnt even read the other comments until just know, funny that someone else likes the "program" too! Awesome! (makes me feel like I am doing something right as a mom!)
i love love and logic too. the CDs are short and easy to listen to. the whole way of parenting really puts the responsibility on the children. good luck
thanks guys! Im going to check them out! Literally - at the library :)
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