Why I feel the way I do

Since discovering several days ago that our new baby will be a girl, I have stated that it is a relief to know that we will have a girl as opposed to a boy. I have had several questions of why I wanted a girl. I figured that I would put in writing why I feel this way.

Currently we have Caitlyn (6), and Nathan (5). Caitlyn is smart, healthy, energetic, and ALL GIRL. She does well in school, but struggles with self discipline like any other 6 year old. She is an absolute joy and is one of the top 3 things I am most proud of.

Nathan is a funny, strong, determined and stubborn 5 year old boy. He can have you cracking up in no time. He has also started to show his instincts for operating electronics. Nathan also has autism. We discovered this very early, about one year old, and have been getting very familiar with treatments, schools, therapies and his needs. I would say that it is a challenge, but I fear that would be insulting to what Emily does every day for him. She has dedicated her life to making sure that he has every opportunity at mainstream normalcy that we can give him. She is so good at what she does. My gratitude is so deep that I can’t do it justice with words on a page. I will love her forever for what she has done with Nathan.

Having another child after one has been diagnosed with autism is a risky situation. There are documentaries and articles based on Center For Disease Control (CDC) research showing that the recurrence of autism doubles after one instance is diagnosed in a family. Autism occurs in 1/150 children. Due to Nathan’s diagnosis, we are in the 1/75 category for a future child having the same condition. This may seem remote to some, but when the effect is 100% understood, this is a huge gamble.

Recently, the CDC conducted statistical research all over the country and found that boys are anywhere from 3 - 7 times more likely to be diagnosed with autism.

PROFILES OF Autism Spectrum Disorder CHILDREN

Mental retardation: 33% to 64% of children with ASDs also had mental retardation, less than the 70%-75% previously thought.

Gender difference: For every girl affected, three to seven boys were; the rate varied by state. It has been estimated that boys are four times as likely to have an ASD as girls.

Racial differences: Most sites reported similar rates in black and white children, though in the 2002 report, five of the 14 sites found that white children were more likely to have autism than black children. Data on Hispanic children showed lower rates.

Source: Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, CDC

It is easy to see why there would be a preference for a girl as opposed to a boy. I am simply trying to have the numbers in our favor. I love Nathan to death. I have a son that depends on me and my wife for everything. We provide him with education appropriate for his abilities, a home that is conducive to his development and a family life that offers zero feeling of disappointment or regret. He is such a special little boy. He is however, trapped in a mind that does not allow him to be his fullest version of himself. I am relieved that we are having a girls because now I know that there is a greater chance that I will not have to look into the eyes of my child and continually wonder “what is in that little mind of yours.” That is a feeling that no parent should know.

Chad